If data is the new oil, then Big Data is the new snake oil. For over a decade, Big Data has managed to delude far too many smart, honest, hard-working data practitioners, with nothing but the best intentions. This session is a plea for your common sense and decency. Together, we will use history, facts, authority, and logic to expose it for what it really is. Layer by layer, we will peel off the Confusion, Illusion, Deception, Distraction and the Regression that is "Big Data". You will realize just how much progress and value Big Data has bestowed on us over the past decade. But more importantly, we will see what we can and must do to make data practice, and consequently the world, a better place. Brace yourself for a thought-provoking session, filled with "Aha" moments. I promise that after this session, you will never look at big data the same way as you did before you stepped into the room.